Speaker: Sandy Souder, May 8, 2016
Good Morning Beloved!
When Bob found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said as he walked up to her, “but in just a week or two my father will die, and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.”
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening.
Three days later, she became his stepmother.
For some of us, Mother’s Day is a beautiful and joyful event to be spent with our Mother or to remember them if they have passed.
But for many of us, Mother’s Day is filled with emotional complication and mixed feelings.
Some had beloved mothers, who have now passed away, and this loss fills you with grief.
Some desperately wanted to be mothers yourselves, but destiny did not allow it.
Some had mothers who were unavailable in one way or another.
Some of you have lost a child.
Some of you — like me — are not mothers in the usual sense of the word.
Some of you are not even female, but men who have stepped in to the role of nurturing as a Mother would.
There’s a Jewish Proverb that says, “God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.”
Could possibly be true….
I would alter that a bit and simple say God made those of us who nurture. God is after all, LOVE.
We often hear about how a Mother’s love is so profound, that nothing and no one can stand in the way of a Mother and her child. We only need look at nature to see the overwhelming steps a Mother takes to ensure their offspring, whether animal, bird or human; is safe.
But, most Mothers also take the steps necessary to show their off spring that there is a time to ‘leave the nest’, so to speak. I think for most of us, we weren’t pushed out of the nest, and left to find our wings before hitting the ground as some fledglings are.
But even for those of us who were pushed out the nest and left to find our wings on our own, we did! And we found our way, sometimes close to ground, and sometimes we came close to ground several times before truly finding our wings.
Our Mothers may have been secretly hovering beneath us, trying their best to make sure we don’t hit ground. I know mine did, in her own way.
And I think that is where we need to see our Mother’s, when they didn’t fit the picture we saw on TV…the Mrs. Cleaver from Leave it to Beaver and Mrs. Anderson from Father Knows Best, or Harriet Nelson in The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet.
My Mother and I have a very nice relationship. We didn’t always though. I bet a lot of you have similar stories, where there were times of contention between the two of you. But there is also a point in your life when you said to yourself that the time is right for a good relationship with the woman who brought you into the world.
Or, for the woman or man, who watched you grow and helped as best they could.
And that is where the misunderstanding between each other can be replaced, at least a bit, with at least acceptance and maybe even understanding.
That’s the answer, you know…. understanding that they did the best they could do with what they knew at the time. When I realized that, I could come to grips with how my childhood was and then, at least attempt to let it go.
It’s a choice to take a different perspective, to look at the situation a different way.
So, they did the best they could with what they knew at the time. Maya Angelou said it better: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
Think about that. When my Mother had me, she was almost 20 years old. What do you know about the world and life at 20? Now go back to 1949, my birth year, when things weren’t easily available. And add another baby just about a year and a half old, my older brother and a husband who was alcoholic and not responsible as far as holding a job.
And though she is an intelligent woman, her education didn’t go past elementary years. It was out to the fields and work for her and her siblings. She had a rough life as a child.
I’m proud of my Mother and the growth she has made. Most times she does not revert to her victim mentality, though it would be well understood if she did. She and I both have traveled that road several times.
No, she has moved along nicely, coming into her own.
What have you seen in your Mother’s journey as you look back through your years together? Think about that journey, what have and can you learn from it?
Our Mother’s hold a special place in our lives…whether they were the best Mother or akin to Bette Davis…. there is always something that connects us to them.
Here’s a story…
Lionel phones his mother living in Springfield, MA USA.
‘Mum, how are you?’ he asks.
‘Not too good,’ answers Lionel’s mother, ‘I’ve been very weak.’
Lionel, concerned asks, ‘Why are you so weak, mother?’
She says, ‘Because I haven’t eaten in 23 days’
Lionel stammers, ‘That’s terrible. Why haven’t you eaten in 23 days?’
His mother replies, ‘Because I didn’t want my mouth to be filled with food if you should phone.’
Unfortunately, this is true for many Mothers and their families. Have you called home lately?
I found this little reminder that fits in many places, especially here…
Have you checked your love walk?